Karma's Bitch
by a DUMB girl WITH a COMPUTER
Summary: "Kiss my asexual ass, mother f******'s, you'll never catch me alive! MUAHAHA-" my trolling of my fellow spirits was cut short when I saw the golden flash of a whip from the corner of my eye. It wrapped around my ankle and I was hanging upside down in the next instant. I cleared my throat "Now when I said kiss my ass-" The big bunny held up it's paw as a signal for me to shut up.
1. despicable me

**Okay, this is just a fanfic to vent out my frustrations from being overly nice to everything and everyone! I'm just looking for an outlet for my silent mean streak that I never show to other people. Please note that I would never do any of these things in real life! **

**WARNINGS: adult language, violence, and a bitch of an OC**

**No animals were harmed in the making of this fan fiction**

**DISCLAIMER: the only thing I own is my OC**

**Please...no flames...I know she's an awful person, but please put up with her. She'll be going through some much needed character development in later chapters!**

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I woke up slowly, not quite wanting to leave my dreamless sleep.

something was making a lot unnecessary noise though, and it was getting increasingly annoying.

I lifted one of my arms Off of my face t o see the annoying source of it.

It was a dog.

An ugly little chi Wawa that was yapping away.

I threw my whole body up into a sitting position on the bench that I was laying on.

I stared at the chi Wawa and it stared back, never ceasing the barking onslaught.

I yawned loudly and stretched out my entire body.

I raised my arms Above my head, tilted my head back, stretched my legs out as far as they could go, curled my bare toes, and twisted my torso to the left.

A satisfying assortment of pops and cracks resounded and then I let myself go limp again.

That thing was still barking.

I gave it another glance before I used my arms to launch myself into a standing position.

I was still a little disoriented so I stumbled on my way over to the dog.

It couldn't see me but it knew I was there.

I had given up trying to find out why only animals seemed to be able to know when I was near and just figured it was some natural 'sixth sense' thingy.

I stopped right in front of the little mutt barking with that high squeaky voice it had.

I glared at it.

Then brought back my leg and whipped it out, kicking it with my bare foot.

It launched at least five feet into the air.

It was so stunned being suddenly attacked by an invisible force that it quit barking for the three seconds it was air born.

It landed with a thump and a yelp.

The chi WaWa ra n off with its tail between its legs, whimpering and yipping.

I snickered.

Wonder if I should chase that thing and give it a few extra kicks for the road.

I stared after the rat, watching it disappear around a corner.

Nah, it wasn't worth the chase, my back was just killing me!

Note to self: next time choose mattress store to take a nap in.

Ah, it felt like I pulled a muscle when I stretched too.

Eh, I guess I just need to walk it off while going through town.

I grimaced at the thought and made my way down the sidewalk to do just that.

I had that kid's movie song still stuck in my head from when I had watched it a weak ago.

I was a sucker for cartoon movie villians. They always made me laugh.

I whistled the tune, and sang as I strutted down the side walk, hands in my jean pockets.

_**I'm havin' a bad, bad day**_

_**It's about time that I get my way**_

There was a young couple that consisted of a cute, freckled, red head of a girl and a tall, dark and handsome boy coming up ahead.

My large third eye on my forehead twitched and opened.

Oooh, looks like that boys been naughty, his aura was tinted a deep gray which meant that he had really messed up his balance of good and bad.

Right now he was tipping his scale towards the bad side and would end up a cockroach in the next life if he went unpunished.

There was also an oncoming red car about to pass.

I put those two together.

**_Steamrolling whatever I see_**

I kept walking and right when I was about to pass him I held out my foot to trip up the tall pretty boy so he would fall just the right way into the street and have a leg or two run over by that red car. He better hope he breaks both legs, his balance was way off and he needed as much help as possible.

I kept walking ignoring the screech of both the tires and his pretty little girlfriend (whose aura was not that bad) followed by a loud crunch and an agonized scream.

"You're welcome!" I bellowed even though I knew they couldn't hear me.

I grinned .

_'Nothin' like helping a person in need.' _I thought.

_**Huh, despicable me**_

Leaving behind the mess that I had just caused (out of the goodness of my heart) for someone else to work out, I started towards the busy town district.

I passed stores without really looking at them, I already knew that I was in the fast food district, but I wasn't hungry. I had eaten a ton of cupcakes right before I had went to sleep.

_**I'm having' a bad, bad day**_

_**And if you take it personal, that's okay**_

I walked straight through whoever happened to step in my path, occasionally pushing some people down to skin their hands or knees to help them atone for some minor misdeeds.

Ah, the joy of being able to only touch for the purpose of my job...Sarcasm, learn it and use it well my friends.

When I passed a particularly bad aura of a man with slicked back hair, wearing a business suit, and talking rather loudly into a blue tooth, I immeadiantly wanted to pick on him.

**_Watch, this is so fun to see_**

I very sleekly reached into his back pocket that held his, larger than average, wallet and pulled it out. I didn't bother to look inside, I just threw it into a passing sewer drain under the sidewalk.

**_Ah, despicable me_**

It might seem messed up for me to judge people based only on their aura, but I had learned a long time ago not to question the system.

The system had a rule of _'no questions asked' _and I intended to use it to do my job forever, otherwise karma would get pissed.

I still do mess up with her a lot though.

I can't remember how many times that woman had chewed me out for being unfocused or sleeping on the job. But I guess I cant really blame her for that.

Karma's only a bitch if you are.

Oops, speaking of which, I probably should have been back to the temple hours ago.

Crud.

Okay, since I'm already screwed let's make her inevitable punishment for me less by doubling my quota for the day.

Instead of 450 'judged ones' let's make it 850! And so I pulled out my little transportation charm from my jeans and swung it in front of my face, back and forth by its thin gold chain.

The jobs that I liked the most where the punishment ones, the rewarding jobs were okay, but a lot less entertaining and harder to complete.

I was looking for quick easy jobs to make it look like I wasn't just fooling around on my shift "Hmmm, where are the most likely punishment jobs that are quick and easy?" I asked the charm that held a small dark blue crystal orb, in a gold lining to keep it in place.

The orb swirled with a gold liquid for a moment before coming up with the places name.

New Orleans

GOD, I love that place! It was my favorite punishment place to visit, so festive. I laughed and dropped the charm onto the sidewalk ground. As soon as it hit the concrete a large gaping hole of black and white wisps opened. The charm now floated above the hole waiting for me to retrieve it, which I did. I very gently placed it back into my pocket and stepped over the edge of the teleportation hole.

"WOOOOHOOOO!"

I never got tired of this part. I screamed so I could hear myself over the rushing wind whipping at my face.

My eyes watered from the wind drying them out, but I still was able to see the white light below me approaching quickly.

I had to be ready for this or I would fall flat on my ass or face. This is the part I hated about the travelling charm hole, the sudden turn of equilibrium that would probably have most untrained karma apprentices struggling to keep their lunch down.

As soon as I was falling through the hole of light, I was being thrown up into the air. With practiced moves, I shifted my body to match the new equilibrium and landed in a on my feet in a crouch.

Yep, I'm a F.I.G.J.A.M' meaning...

Fuck I'm good! Just ask me.

I did a quick take in of my surroundings. I was in one of the many alleyways of New Orleans.

I cracked my neck to the side and popped my knuckles.

Alright! Let's get down to business.

* * *

I finished in under an hour, which by the way, almost beats my record of 50 jobs in 45 minutes.

Damn, I'm good.

It was getting dark out and knowing karma, she would still be pretty pissed about my absence. I better just get this over with.

I made a move to reach for my teleportation charm but was unable to when I was suddenly yanked off of my feet by my collar.

What the hell?

I was too shocked to move or respond before I was shoved into a rough, brown sack and encased in darkness.

How in the hell did I get stuffed in a sack!? I was a fucking spirit for Christ sakes, how did this fucker even manage to see me let alone touch me?

Oh fuck...another spirit.

Of course it was a spirit.

Because spirits capture other spirits all the time, right?

NO they did NOT! The hell was going on here!

After a moment I did scream, I screamed every curse word that came to mind

"You mother f******, c*** licking, s*** swallowing, a** eating, b**** a** p**** virgin!-" Okay, despite the contradictions of what I just said it was the best I could think of. Sadly the words 'let me go' did not even occur in my mind of _'things to say'._

The bag I was in was suddenly lifted off of the ground and dropped just as quickly.

I landed in a painful way.

"AH! For fucks sake! I just crushed my goddamn my taaaaail!" I whined out in agony.

"That is no way for lady such as self to talk." said a heavy Russian accent.

"F*** your grandmother!" I scream so loudly and shrill my lungs ached. I felt myself being thrown. Oh crap, this was gonna hurt.

**_Thump_**

Okay, that hurt but not as bad as I thought it would.

No tail no foul.

I scrapped and clawed for an exit as panic set in, which was not that hard considering i had claws for finger nails. Yeah, weird to some but every karma assistant had a weird appearance. I had blue skin, orange hair, and a third eye on my forehead, and I was what was considered normal back at the temple.

I shredded through the itchy and dry cloth and pushed myself through the opening I had made.

I scrambled into a crouch and my third eye was wide open, staring down the opposing threat. I was absolutely livid. My tail which I usually kept wrapped around my leg to keep it out of the way, slivered out of my pant leg and out into the open, it was five feet long, skinny, and hairless but it was also strong, quick, and sharp enough to cut through steel.

Taking in my surroundings I first caught sight of my captor. It was a big gray 'doctor who' looking thing. I hissed at it and waited for an attack. When it didn't show any signs of it, I made the first move and lunged at it, teeth bared and ready to scratch it's eyes out.

I would have made it too if a big hand hadn't of grabbed me by my flimsy white t-shirt and hoisted me three feet off of the ground. Again.

"Calm yourself little naughty one!" An even thicker Russian accent voice bellowed.

Wait, I knew that nick name...oh no, not North!

I ceased my struggle and hung limply in his grasp. My third eye slowly closed as I slowly turned around to face the giant bearded man.

He was looking at me with those 'you're in trouble young lady' eyes.

Heh, go figure.

I really didn't think that Karma would actually go through with her threat of '_next time you run off'on your shift, I will send someone to get you' _

She just _had _to send dear old nick instead of a retrieval assistant didn't she?

Well, I guess it made a little sense. I mean, I was always able to avoid retreival assistants whenever they were sent after me.

Nick however, she knew that I wouldn't dare fight against that burly man.

Jolly, my ass.

Nick and karma were close friends and always in touch, which is trouble for me because old saint nick always gets me in trouble for the secret _'naughty' _things that I do whenever I'm aloud out of the temple. I always wondered how he always knew about every 'mean-spirited' things I did.

Not like he had a _real_ magic list, right? That would be the creepiest invention ever.

'I know every single bad thing you've ever in you entire life'

...like I said, creepy.

Yep, dont want to get on this guys bad side.

Hm, back to the point.

Did he really have to stuff me in a sack? I mean, common.

I thought about it for a moment. Yeeeah, he did have to do that actually. I wouldn't have fought him, but I sure as hell would have ran away.

"Heeeeeeeeey Nickolas, how ya' been? Good? I was just on my way back to the temple. Got any messages for karma? You know how she loves hearing from ya'. So if you could just let me down, that would be greeeeat" I said as I blinked all three of my eyes imploringly. He was a spirit too so I couldn't see his karma balance, but it would probably be pure white.

Goody-two-shoes and all that.

His glare didn't lighten up "karma told me you are very late returning to temple, you were slacking off again weren't you, little naughty one" he said while placing me back onto the ground "and what is it that you are wearing?" He added.

I righted my shirt that had ridden up my belly when I was finally on the ground.

Ugh, the collar was stretched beyond repair.

Oh well.

I snapped my fingers and my jeans and white shirt faded away to my usual attire that consisted entirely of gold. The head set wrapped around my head connected to my ruby encrusted earrings. And my many gold chain necklaces hung low enough to cover my chest. A golden sash hung low on my hips and was held up only by mini gold chains. Large bracelets adorned both of my wrists and ankles and were encrypted with the Karma sign of equality.

This outfit was decorated with the ancient equality sign all over actually.

Basically it was the circle of black and white, Good and bad, and proof of my allegiance and loyalty to the man in the moon as well as Karma.

I hated this outfit.

After a while you just get tired of wearing the same old thing that covers almost nothing.

I looked up at North and did a little spin.

"Happy now?" I asked sweetly.

He did a small nod "Karma would not be very pleased to find that you have not followed dress code"

I tensed. I had been warned about dress code about 300 times throughout the century and each time I was caught I was severely punished.

I scampered up to north and fell to my knees dramatically. I gripped his velvet robe and forced a couple of fake tears out of my eyes. "Oh, please north (sniffle) I would be put in an isolation box for a century if you tell her, I th-thought you c-cared more about me, I-I thought….you were better than that" I gave him the best 'puss in boots eye's' I could possibly muster.

His glare seemed to falter as he took in my tearful and nearly hysterical appearance, but then his gaze turned harder as something seemed to occur to him.

"You kicked puppy earlier, yes?" he asked.

Well, it didn't really sound like a question, more like an accusation.

I lifted my hands up in a thinking gesture and put my fingers to my lips "define 'kick'" I said.

He shook his head at me and a couple of cookie crumbs from his beard fell onto my cheek. I blew them off.

I tried to argue my case "That thing wasn't a puppy, I thought it was a hairless rat! I swear!" okay, I knew it was a dog but it sure as hell looked like a rat.

He looked at me doubtfully but finally his gaze softened and he uncrossed one tattooed arms and patted me on the head. "Alright little naughty one, I give you one more chance, then I tell karma" he said sternly.

YES! I lived off of the saying 'one more chance' . All I had to do was wait until they forgot about the 'one more chance' that they gave me to screw up again.

I removed his hand from the top of my head and shook it gratefully "you won't regret it, I promise North!"

I reached for my teleporting charm that now hung attached to my sash and unhooked it from it's place.

North stopped me though "Tut-tut little naughty one, Karma's specific instruction is to send escort for you back to temple, to make sure you face punishment, I hear rumor from messenger that you face the 'punishment of a thousand lines' " He said.

I froze.

The punishment of a thousand lines?

No fucking way.

She wouldn't.

Not for something like being late coming back from a shift.

But…..well…I guess I have been…screwing up a lot lately….and…

….oh shit.

I can't go back.

I seriously can't go back! Not now at least.

'The punishment of a thousand lines' was code for 'a thousand spiked lashes from a whip across your back'

This was an ancient punishment used only for the truly rebellious and dangerous assistants working under karma.

It was some a toture that was supposed to hold unfathomable agony.

A punishment to literally whip some sense into apprentices.

No way was I going to go and face it.

I glanced at north.

He was a nice guy and probably didn't know what this meant, which meant that he also didn't know how suddenly desperate I was to get away.

I mentally calculated my chances in escape.

If I were to just whip out my teleporting charm and try to jump into the hole, it would take too long and I would get caught. It took at least 3 second for the portal to open up and that was time I did not have.

Plus I needed time to set coordinates for my destination.

Crap! What should I do? Fuckfuckfuckity fuckfuck! RUN!

That's right I could always run!

Making up my mind, I did a casual once over of the work shop to find an exit.

I saw one.

It looked as though it led into his private corridors and the doors were at the other side of the workshop.

Damn, how could I make it that far without being caught?

And at that exact moment, I saw a dopey looking elf walk by.

I would have to thank fate later.

Without giving it a second thought I snatched up the elf by my tail and bolted towards the wall.

All working in the shop ceased and it was silent in the room.

I held the elf by its small neck and spoke in a clear and loud voice "If anyone so much as moves or makes a peep, the elf gets it" My adrenaline was pumping. What if this didn't work?

North looked shocked and I took advantage of that. I snatched my charm off of my sash and whispered the coordinates so no one else would hear them and follow me. Then I dropped the charm to the ground, still firmly holding the now blue faced elf.

When the teleporting hole was open I jumped in and threw the elf as high as I could into the air, towards the middle of the room so everyone could focus on catching it rather than me.

They didn't disappoint.

The last thing I saw before I was all the way through the portal was them all, yetis, elves, and Santa's alike, scrambling to catch him.

The rush of the wind and adrenaline pumping through my veins only added to it's exhilerating feeling.

The light was coming up ahead and I braced myself for the shift in gravity.

I landed perfectly just like always.

But damn was it cold.

I wrapped my tail around me in a sad attempt to warm myself or to keep the freezing snow from touching my skin.

It really didn't help.

Why was it so damn cold in Washington all of a sudden? I mean, yeah it's December, but c'mon, can't I catch a break?

I couldn't go any place warm because the recon apprentices would expect that, they knew my favortism of sandy beaches and expensive hotel rooms.

I was already starting to regret my place of hidding though.

I looked around and realized that I had ended up in the middle of a large neigborhood.

It must have been a friendly district judging from all of the houses which were covered in bright Christmas light. Literally every single one of them.

It made slightly hesitant to intrude on one of them.

Whatever, now was not the time to be picky. And so, shivering, I chose the house I saw with the least lights and ran over to it.

_'I am not a creepy stalker, just forget about the family upstairs, your just a temporary house guest'_ I assured myself.

I mean Jesus, I could see my own breath and my whole body felt like it was being pricked by a thousand cold needles.

I couldn't die of Amonia, but that didn't mean I wanted to sleep in the snow.

This was why I hated my outfit, too revealing to the elements.

Once I reached the house I didn't stop and ran straight through the brick wall, thankful for my ability to phase through them.

I sighed in relief once I was finally inside and enveloped in the warmth of the house. I was currently in the living room that had a conveniently seated love sofa right in front of a blazing fire place.

I almost screamed in terror when I saw a flash of red robes from the corner of my eye.

NORTH!

OH, sweet mother of Mary, it was just a man dressed in a Santa outfit! Phew, scared the piss out of me.

I eyed the man who was currently having a heavy make out session with a pretty little blonde (probably his wife) while wearing a fake white beard and long red robes. They were leaning against the overly decorated Christmas tree with a ton of presents beneath it.

My third eye was shut so I had the right to assume that these were pretty decent people.

But seriously, what was with people? Was this some type of sex thing? Does this woman get off on the thought of banging Santa clause? Well, that's 2014 for you.

I made my way over to the love seat and sat in front of the fire to try and thaw out.

I ignored the sounds of face sucking and decided to stay here for the night. I liked the aura of the house despite the kinky couple behind me.

I stared at the fire crackling and dancing. I wondered how it could cause so much damage, and yet stay so bright and pure.

_Lucky._

One hundred years. One hundred fucking years I had been working as a lousy assistant for karma, and for what?

A whipping of a life time? I had never asked for much. Just a lttle freedom.

But I guess I didn't really have the right to complain.

Karma had made me from scratch ,personally, which was rare.

She had given me my personality, my looks, even my rebelious attitude.

But what she had conviently left out was a gender, a soul, and a name.

I had none of these.

She had said that I would have to earn them through my actions.

Funny right? Considering that she's the one who fucking MADE this way.

_'I wonder if they have any scotch in here' _I thought wryly.

After rummaging through the cabinets I found out that they did. And it was the expensive stuff.

YAY!

I grabbed the bottle and gulped half of it down before I even made it back over to the couch.

My alcohol tolerance had grown strong over the long years of drinking, to the point where I had to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol just to feel buzzed.

Good thing scotch was strong.

I plopped back down and let the fiery liquid blaze a trail down my throat.

I was feeling kind of bad for screwing over good ol' Nick like I did,

Probably should have handled it a little better than I had.

I lifted the bottle up into the air, slurred out a "TO NICKY!" and downed the rest of it.

It took about four minutes for my buzz to turn into a full a drunken state.

Some of the bits and pieces I remember about that night include me standing on top of the couch and singing at the top of my lungs "I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause" and "Merry freaking Christmas" and then crying because I knew no one could hear me…yeah… I'm a sad drunk.

But hell, I should be depressed, Karma was bound to find me sooner or later, and me running away has probably made my situation ten times worse.

_Stupid spirit._

Mmmm, what would man in the moon have to say about my behavior?

Nothing good probably.

Yep, here I am, drunk off my ass and laying face down on the carpet of a stranger's home.

I sighed into the soft rug.

Maybe in the morning things would be better.

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**Authors note: AL righty then! I finally finished this damn first chapter! It takes forever to write on an IPad. Especially when it keeps jumping to random spots when I'm typing and stuff. But oh well, I finished! I warned you that my original character would be a bitch right? I'm aiming on giving her some character development to make her a semi decent person. I already have chapter two halfway written so I'll be having some fun with that.**

**Review please!**


	2. sack community

**HI! Been awhile since I updated, and to tell you the truth, I had almost forgotten that I had wrote another chapter for this fanfic. This chapter is dedicated to RAM00 who PM'd me and gave me the motivation to post!**

**Disclaimer: As you all probably know, I do not own Rise of the Guardians! But I do own my oc.**

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In my defense, I was able to avoid them for whole 3 days.

3 WHOLE days.

Which is impressive considering that there were repo assistants AND a warrant for my arrest in the whole spiritual community.

Karma, Santa clause, Easter bunny, Tooth fairy, Sandman, Leprechaun, ground hog, hell, even Mother nature where after my ass. Sandman had sent the message to every spirit that would listen across the globe. The message was transferred by a golden dust bird that exploded into a message whenever it came into contact with a spirit.

Luckily, the sand note could not decipher one spirit from another so I also received one by accident. I was a little offended at they didn't confer the possibility that _I _would get one.

Assholes didn't concider me a spirit did they?

The message read as such:

**_To whomever this may concern,_**

**_Please be on the lookout for a Karma assistant that seems to be out of place or acting suspiciously._**

**_The assistant is described to be 5 ft. 3, dark blue skinned, 3 eyed, dressed in all gold, bright orange shoulder _**

**_Length hair, and a thin long tail. If you see or have seen this person please alert either the spirit Karma or or North Nicholas_**

**_As soon as you are able If at all possible, detain it if you must. Approach with caution. That is all._**

**_- Sand man_**

Apparently I was in much deeper shit than I had originally thought.

I didn't fucking know that they were gonna send out an A.P.B to the whole goddamn spirit world! I mean what the hell!? It was just a dumb elf, and it's not like I even killed it!

Everyone was just over reacting!

Shit! It was only a matter of time before they hunted me down and I knew I couldn't do didly squat about it.

So I got sloppy. I tried to have as much fun as I possibly could before they dragged me back by my tail. And when they did find me, they would have a hell of a time trying to _detain _me.

It was a stupid plan.

I should have just holed myself up in that kinky couples house and layed low for a couple of fifty years.

They caught me in Vegas.

In a male strip club to be exact.

Yes, I am asexual, but still, watching grown men in G-strings dancing around on stage is fucking hilarious to watch.

I was minding my own business while observing the _'eye candy' _when it happened.

I saw a flash of gold sand and no sooner was lifted into the air by my ankle by a golden whip.

...THE FUCK!

Fury blinded me as I screamed and roared my frustration. I slashed blindly at anything I could get my claws into, which was not a lot considering me being upside down.

In my last moments of consciousness I saw a puff of golden dust being thrown into my face.

It knocked me out cold.

I dreamed of chaos.

It was beautiful.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in a sack again.

But this time I could literally _feel _the magic laced within its fabric.

Magic that drained _my _magic.

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!

I was definately getting whipped into oblivion this time.

I didn't try to struggle, I didn't have any strength left thanks to the magic draining properties that the sack had.

Ehhhh, I wonder how long it will take me to recover from the damage the whipping would do.

Probably a week at most.

A week of pain and probably 3 years in an isolation box.

Ugggggghhhh.

I felt that I was in was being carried and heard the distinct sound someone talking.

"It's alright Sandy, I got this one, just head back to the shop and wait to greet our new little '_guardians' _with the rest." An Australian accent said bitterly.

More guardian additions?

What the fuck man!? Capture a spirit convict and then meet and greet a rookie guardian in one fucking swoop?

Bullshit! I am WAY more important than any snot nosed loving kiddy mascot!

Whatever. I just hoped that they would take there sweet time in taking me back to karma.

There was some shuffling and then I felt myself being dropped rather roughly on to the hard ground.

I almost let out a surprised yelp but I bit it back.

I would give them no satisfaction in hearing how much that actually fucking hurt.

They might try to do it again if I do.

A few moments later I heard a conversation.

"Bunny" I thought heard a teen's amused voice say.

"Hello mate" the Australian accent said.

"Been a long time hasn't it? Blizzard of 68 I believe, Easter Sunday wasn't it? "He asked.

The amused voice chuckled.

"You're not still mad about that, are ya'?" He asked.

Ha, I liked this guy.

The Australian was _obviously _still pissed.

I wonder if this kid would come rescue a fellow ass hole like myself.

The Australian didn't miss a beat "Yes" he responded angrily to the teens light hearted taugnt.

"But this is about something else...fella's" He added.

I was suddenly hoisted up off of the ground and felt the bouncing sensation of running and the young voice yelling a protest of "HEY!" The opening of the bag was opened and another person was stuffed inside with me.

I was immediately met with a freezing sensation and faced with startled blue gray eyes.

I didn't a beat either.

"WELCOME BROTHER TO THE LAND OF SACK IMPRISONMENT! AL righty then, first and only rule here is do NOT step on my tail... I'm serious...I'll maim you.

I thought I saw his lips twitch a bit in amusement but it also could have just been a grimace of pain. Being in a sack is not comfortable at all.

"LET ME OUTTA HERE!" He yelled loudly.

A fresh new blast of cold air filled the sack when he opened his mouth to shout. I was shivering now.

Fuckin Jesus! Was this kid made of ice!? He was moving around so erratically that he ended up kicking me in the nipple.

OW! God dammit, just because I didn't have a womans breasts did not mean that I had the hard ass abbs of a brazillion stripper!

That is a sensitive area and I did not appritiate being punched there.

"Stop thrashing!" I hissed at him.

It was getting unbearably cold now that this frantic snowy haired spirit was in here with me.

I could see easily into the dark because my eyes literally glowed like a flash light. But he on the other hand, was probably scared shitless being stuffed in a sack with a pair of glowing eyes.

I sneezed.

Seriously though, why the fuck was this kid so damn cold!?

Oh wait, wait, wait, I think I've heard about a sprit like this before.

Cupid had told me something about this winter spirit that was supposedly drop dead gorgeous and as cool as ice awhile back.

Apparently cupid had meant that literally.

I would have to remember to knock cupid upside the head later. That was an awful joke and he needed to be punished for it.

Then I would make up for it by taking him to that awesome Vegas strip club that I was in right before I got spirit-napped.

The winter spirit kicked me on my thigh. Dangerously close to my crotch.

GAH!

Again, just because there's nothing down there does not mean that particular spot is a pleasant place to be kicked!

It hurts being kicked anywhere!

"GOD DAMMIT! I said stop thrashing! Just calm the fuck down, there's no getting outta here until were let out"

"And get the fuck off of my tail!" I growled when I felt it being crushed by his frantic movements.

I thought I heard the Australian laughing from the outside.

When he continued to thrash and carry on his fruitless struggle, I did the only logical thing that a person in my position would do.

I bit him.

"OW!" He yelped.

He stopped thrashing.

Works every time.

"Okay, now that you have stopped acting like your the only one in this sack community, we can finally get onto introductions. Jack Frost, I presume?" I said, trying to keep my teeth from clicking together.

Before he could reply, the sack was dropped to the floor again.

I swear, if I wasn't immortal l would already be covered in bruises and scars by now.

When we both toppled to the ground and landed in an unfortunate and painful position.

I screeched when his knee landed directly on my tail. He quickly removed it though and fell back inside of the large sack.

I snatched my tail up and began to nurse the stinging pain by putting it in my mouth.

I glared at the winter spirit who I had been forced into a game of freezer twister with.

The bags opening cracked open slightly and let in a tiny sliver of light. The light made his hakr shine silver.

Oh, cupid you weren't fucking kidding. This guy _was _a chick magnet. With the light I could see him much better.

Ruffled and spiked snow white hair, Pretty and vibrant blue grey eyes, and a young face with a pale glow, and pretty pale blue lips.

He wore a dark blue hoodie and light brown leather pants, both covered in frost. He was also barefoot and clutching a staff for dear life with his pale hands.

His eyes were wide with shock as he took in my appearance Though.

"Whoa" he breathed.

Instantly I was self-conscious "Yeah, I know, I'm blue, get over it!" I snapped through a mouth full of tail.

No one had the fucking right to give me shit about the way I looked. I was just created that way and no matter what anyone said, it didn't matter.

I couldn't change who I was.

It still fucking hurt to be scrutinized though.

Damn...I'm a hypocrite.

Where the heck were we anyway? I tried to untangle myself from the freezing boy only to realize that we were in a much tighter position than I had originally thought

I kept my tail in my mouth, I didn't want him crushing it anymore "Move your leg! It's trapping my waist!" I growled.

He did so and I began trying to shimmy out of the bag.

I stopped though.

I had almost forgotten my fate outside of this sack.

I rolled us over so that jack was above me and promptly kid him violently out of the sack.

"HEY!" He yelled out in surprise.

I quickly followed after him and used his as a body sheild.

My eyes raked over my surroundings thoroughly and I saw that I was in the workshop again.

This time instead of just yeti's surrounding me, I was surrounded by three other spirits (not counting the one that was dragged along here with me)North, the Easter bunny, the sandman, and a humming bird thingy were all staring down at me and this freezing teen.

Oooookay.

Where the fuck was Karma? The divine punishment? The hell is going on here!?

They were all ginning widely at me and the winter spirit (that I was still using as a shield). Well, all except for the bunny. He looked aggitated.

Waaaaaait. Santa, easter bunny, sand man...and is that the tooth fairy?

Holy fuck, the gang was all here.

...But not Karma.

"Oooh, you've gotta be kidding me" I heard the white haired teen known as Jack Frost, drawl out.

On the same boat here buddy.

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**Review please!**


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